http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/in/Weird-Worm/by/euphoriajoca/ The latest ten episodes in Weird Worm 60 Fri, 20 May 2011 17:05:48 EST en-us http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/by/euphoriajoca/in/Weird-Worm/episode/12-of-Your-Most-Common-Dreamsand-What-They-Mean/ Dreams represent more than just random fragments strung together from our waking lives. At least wersquo;d like to think they mean more. Searching for the significance behind our dreams has led many of us to buy overpriced dream dictionaries, hunt down online interpretations and even venture into the dreaded troll underworld known as ldquo;Yahoo Answersrdquo;. The more daring among us may even check out the father of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud. According to Freud, dreams are fundamentally about wish-fulfillment and are often sexual in some way. With that in mind, wersquo;re betting that dream you had about riding a giant banana through the Lincoln Tunnel takes on a whole new meaning. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="468" caption="Freud would have had a field day with this one."][/caption] Anyway, we here at Weirdworm have decided to take a look at twelve of your most common dreams. Wersquo;ll be offering different explanations as to what they may represent. Because dreams are particularly open to interpretation we decided to go with a traditional analysis as well as a unique view on the subject. For the latter we chose to ask someone who knows ldquo;a little bit about everythingrdquo;, our very own ndash; ldquo;Frankie the Maintenance Guyrdquo;. Hersquo;s our officersquo;s janitorial warrior. Frankie is always around to clean up anything from the smallest spill to the ridiculous amounts of dried raccoon feces stuck to the ceiling of our boardroom. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="279" caption="This is how Frankie looks on a good day."][/caption] Frankie hit a lotto number back in 1978 thanks to a dream he had which involved the scoreboard of a Yankees game (he won $50.00 bucks). Wersquo;ll be referring to Frankiersquo;s take on the subject as our ldquo;in-house expert opinionrdquo;. Letrsquo;s get startedhellip; 12. Teeth Falling Out THE DREAM: These notoriously common dreams tend to involve the horrible discovery that your teeth have suddenly become rotten, loose or worsehellip;they are completely falling out your mouth. These dreams usually leave you extremely distressed. THE TRADITIONAL MEANING: Face it, we are a vain species. Many of us spend more time in the morning primping ourselves in the mirror than we do worrying about getting to school or work on time. Appropriately so, many consider dreams of this sort to signify our fear of being found unattractive. However, at a deeper level these dreams also suggest a profound fear of shame or a loss of power in real life. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="FRANKIErsquo;S TAKE:"][/caption] FTMG: ldquo;I dreamt my teeth were falling out all throughout my teenage years and sure enough, by the time I hit 20 they were pretty much all gone. These dreams are an omen of things to come. Enjoy being pretty while you still can... the shows over for you.rdquo; 11. Being Late or Unprepared THE DREAM: Dreams of this nature may involve you showing up late to an important meeting or social get together. Often you will be totally unprepared. Whether you are still in school or havenrsquo;t been a student since the stone-age similar dreams may involve you being in school anyway and failing a test or showing up late to class. THE TRADITIONAL MEANING: This one is fairly straight forward. Both school and career settings can be representative of change. In that context, dreams of this sort may signify that you are feeling tested in your waking life by some change which you feel unable to handle. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="FRANKIErsquo;S TAKE:"][/caption] FTMG: ldquo;Canrsquo;t say I ever had a dream like this before. Irsquo;ve never much cared about being anywhere on time though. The way I see it the world is on my clock. If I donrsquo;t feel like cleaning the trash cans before 9am and you have some issue with that, then take it up with someone who gives a flying f**... Fri, 20 May 2011 17:05:48 EST http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/by/euphoriajoca/in/Weird-Worm/episode/12-of-Your-Most-Common-Dreamsand-What-They-Mean/ http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/by/euphoriajoca/in/Weird-Worm/episode/5-of-the-Most-Popular-Nerd-Arguments/ If you clicked this link then chances are yoursquo;re in fact a fellow nerd. Wersquo;d like to thank you ahead of time for pulling yourself away from World of Warcraft and blessing us with your presence. So what was it that grabbed your attention? Was it the geeky pics in the articlersquo;s banner or just the word ldquo;nerdrdquo; alone that brought you here? In any case, here are five of the most popular nerd arguments yoursquo;ll find anywherehellip; though mostly in the dorkiest corners of the internet. If we happen to miss your favorite nerd argument donrsquo;t get your Spiderman undies in a twist, there will be more where this came from. For now lets get started with the classicshellip; 5. George Lucas Raped My Childhood! THE ARGUMENT: This outrageous declaration came about due to the Star Wars prequel trilogy. The basic view is that the prequels were so ridiculously awful that they tarnished the legacy of the original films. Furthermore, George Lucas, the creator of the Star Wars universe, was also summarily held responsible for the metaphorical raping of the memories of Star Wars fans. At least we think thatrsquo;s what the ldquo;raped my childhood statementrdquo; means. This ugly argument / whine-fest began in 1999 with the release of Episode I: The Phantom Menace. Since then it has raged on endlessly via message boards across the internet. THE PLAYERS: On one side we have those who are fiercely loyal to the original (Holy) trilogy. This portion of the fan-base truly wanted to enjoy the three prequels but for whatever reasons they were enormously let down. Too much Jar-Jar, too much clunky dialogue, too much cheesy romance, too much CGIhellip; the list goes on and on. Because these fans were disappointed and their expectations were not met therersquo;s been hell to pay. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="360" caption="We assume Mr. Lucas has excellent security."][/caption] On the flip side there are the Prequel lovers. Though not as plentiful or as vocal as the original trilogy fans they are a formidable group. These fans either got a kick out of Jar-Jar or were indifferent toward his idiocy. Most importantly these fans simply accept the prequels for what they are and enjoy them, flaws and all. Itrsquo;s also worth noting that some of these fans grew up with the prequels in the same way that the generation before them grew up with the original trilogy. THE DAMAGE REPORT: In the eyes of George Lucas the six films are simply all part of one unified saga. However in the eyes of many bitter fans itrsquo;s a whole other story. The Star Wars fan-base is insanely split on this point. Therersquo;s no end in sight for the geek rage this discussion ignites on a daily basis. 4. Joel vs. Mike: The Ultimate MST3K Battle THE ARGUMENT: This argument is firmly tied to the critically acclaimed television show, Mystery Science Theater 3000. The series featured a man and his robot sidekicks trapped on a space station and forced to watch countless terrible movies. The ldquo;Joel vs. Mikerdquo; debate began way back in the fall of 1993 after Mike Nelson took over for Joel Hodgson as host of the show and consequently began riffing films in his place. The Great ldquo;Joel vs. Mike Flame-warrdquo; is infamous amongst ldquo;Mystiesrdquo; as it sharply divided the fan-base and caused lots of bad blood. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="553" caption="Yoursquo;d think we could all get together and watch horrible movies in peace, but noooo."][/caption] THE PLAYERS: On one side there were the loyal old-school fans of Joel (who was also the creator of the series). On the other side were fans that embraced the new guy Mike and dared to suggest he was a better host. Naturally there was no right or wrong answer in the scenario. Comparing Joel and Mike was like comparing apples and oranges. Or to put it in geek language, it was like comparing Hobbits to Dwarves. THE DAMAGE REPORT: At one... Fri, 20 May 2011 17:05:52 EST http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/by/euphoriajoca/in/Weird-Worm/episode/5-of-the-Most-Popular-Nerd-Arguments/ http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/by/euphoriajoca/in/Weird-Worm/episode/Good-Bad-and-Morally-Ambigous-The-Low-Down-on-9-Movie-Dragons/ When you stop and take a moment to think about dragons, chances are you have a very specific image in your mind of what this mythological creature looks and acts like, depending on whatever your formative dragon experience was. So you might find it weird that a dragon can actually be a lot of different things to different people. A lot of the differences in dragon representations are cultural; for example, Westerners trend more towards a dragons-are-evil mythos, while others, especially the Chinese, revere dragons as bringers of luck. Dragons have also changed over time; we've somewhat overcome our stereotypical dragon sensibilities in favor of the more modern notion of seeing dragons as 'people,' or at least assigning some sort of human or uber-human characteristics to them. Below is a handy guide to the panoply of dragons in movies that might, perhaps help you learn how your ideas of what a dragon is came to be, and whether or not those ideas are terribly wrong. The entries are listed roughly in chronological order, so you can see the evolution of dragon representations over time. 1. Maleficent in Sleeping Beauty (1959) [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="Could be a good dragon. We don#39;t want to judge on this picture alone."][/caption] No representation of dragons in movies is more traditionally Western than that of Maleficent in Sleeping Beauty. If you went back a few centuries and showed this movie to a bunch of townspeoplehellip; well, first of all they'd flip out over seeing moving pictureshellip; and then they'd probably torture you and burn you at the stake for performing witchcraft. After that they'd all sit down together and say, "Yeah, looks like a dragon to me!" A lot of Western myths use dragons as symbols of the devil. There are no redeeming factors, nothing besides true, unadulterated evil to this terrifying creature. The fact that this dragon actually is a wicked witch just tops off the perfect image of everything we've come to know about good and evil. 2. Smaug in The Hobbit (1977) [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="435" caption="Are dragons supposed to be that hairy? There might have been some miscommunication with the drawing department here."][/caption] This is another dragon that's pretty one-dimensional; however, we're starting to get a bit more into the mythos of dragons with this character. We can't say for sure if Tolkien invented the idea of a treasure-hoarding beast living forever in a cave, but he invented pretty much everything else we know of as fantasy, so it's a fair bet. This dragon eats people, destroys towns, is greedy, and thinks only of himself. At least Maleficent only put people to sleep and blows a bit of fire now and then. This is possibly the worst-behaved dragon on our list. 3. Elliot in Pete's Dragon (1977) [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="330" caption="Look! That dragon is copying Mickey Rooney#39;s facial expressions!"][/caption] We're not sure exactly what to make of this. The same year that brought us Smaug also brought us Elliot, the misbehaving dragon that may or may not have been a figure of Pete's imagination induced by too many beatings or excessive drug use. Of course, by the end everyone can see Elliot, so maybe the drugs were in the water? Maine has always been a kind of 'live and let live' place, so it's no surprise that they set a movie with a heart-of-gold dragon in a town there. Still, although Elliot cares for Pete very much, he's got some characteristics that wouldn't be tolerated in an upstanding human citizen. He loves pranks such as pulling out a lady's slip and getting egg all over people's faces. And that's the true essence of dragons - whether they're good or bad, they're never entirely human, and don't necessarily play by our societal rules. 4. Falcor in The Neverending Story (1984) [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="Drugs were most definitely involved i... Fri, 01 Apr 2011 14:32:25 EST http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/by/euphoriajoca/in/Weird-Worm/episode/Good-Bad-and-Morally-Ambigous-The-Low-Down-on-9-Movie-Dragons/ http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/by/euphoriajoca/in/Weird-Worm/episode/5-Fictional-Jobs-That-Seem-Awesome-But-Actually-Suck/ Letrsquo;s face it; most people have really crappy jobs. For every jet fighter pilot breaking the sound barrier and blowing up terrorists, you have 100 guys who make minimum wage shoveling horse manure onto a cornfield. Thatrsquo;s why we sit in our cubicle reading comedy articles on the Internet instead of working, and why Irsquo;m employed. So, I thank you for having a crappy job so I can have an awesome one. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="Stop being jealous and get back to work, slacker! But finish the article first, therersquo;s no point in being uncivilized."][/caption] Another thing people do when trying to avoid the crushing reality of your garbage man existence is to fantasize about the job yoursquo;d rather have. What roadkill removal worker wouldnrsquo;t dream of being a Jedi Knight? What sewage plant cleaner doesnrsquo;t secretly imagine hersquo;s carrying a six shooter instead of a powerwasher, shooting Nazis instead of cleaning up poop? However, here is a list of five jobs that may seem like a barrel full of awesome, but in reality, yoursquo;d be better off straddling a desk. 1. The Crew of the Black Pearl (Pirates of the Caribbean franchise) There are many obvious benefits to being a pirate. You get to wear awesome clothes, carry a sword, drink rum, pleasure many, many women, plunder ships, and generally live the glamorous life of an outlaw. Serving on the most awesome pirate ship of all time, the Black Pearl, would seem even more awesome. The Pearl is always at the center of the action, whipping the tar out of Royal Navy, EITC, and Fish People prudes, and is commanded by the most dynamic and cool characters of the Caribbean, like Hector Barbossa, Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann, and of course, Jack Sparrow. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="399" caption="Thatrsquo;s ldquo;Captainrdquo; Jack Sparrow, thank you."][/caption] Of course, being a real pirate was no picnic. Scurvy, lice, rats, fouled water, sea storms, the constant threat of being hung as criminals, and, of course, the crushing boredom of spending days at sea without anything to do, in cramped quarters with a bunch of other men, probably horny, and even worse, therersquo;s probably limited rum supplies. Serving as a crew member on the Black Pearl would be even worse than your average, real life pirate. For one thing, have you ever, in the course of three movies, seen the Pearl plunder a single ship? They never did when Jack Sparrow was captain. They did attack merchant vessels under Barbossa, but they were forced to hoard it on the Isla de Muerta because they were cursed undead skeleton things. And that brings up another thing: the crew of the Pearl is so incredibly unlucky, if they were to walk into a casino, not only would they lose every doubloon they owned, but the slot machine would fall on their heads at the same time. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="350" caption="They most likely would fuse together to form a hybrid Pirate Slot Machine that would totally give out untaxed winnings."][/caption] Throughout the franchise, the average crewman has been subjected to a ten year curse of the undead, being eaten by cannibal natives and a giant squid, being arrested and hung by the Royal Navy, fighting nightmarish fish people, plunging off the edge of the goddamn world, and having to spend all their time watching the lead characters struggle for control over the ship to decide how best to kill off the crew next. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Not to mention a giant voodoo sea goddess with the single WORST case of crabs in the history of man."][/caption] The crew is put through all these trials, and for what? There is never any materialistic gain for Joe Swabbie, and the one time they do get some treasure, it turns out to be cursed by Aztecs and turns you into a skeleton with shredded clothes and a serious attitude problem. We mean, wersquo;ve heard... Mon, 28 Mar 2011 21:01:38 EST http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/by/euphoriajoca/in/Weird-Worm/episode/5-Fictional-Jobs-That-Seem-Awesome-But-Actually-Suck/ http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/by/euphoriajoca/in/Weird-Worm/episode/4-Strange-Coincidences-in-US-History/ History is riddled with strange coincidences. The history of the United States in particular has its fair share of ldquo;what the hellrdquo; moments one might not expect. Some are merely just that: coincidences. Others helped shape the course of history. If you haven't studied the history of the United States then you may have missed these moments. The following list focuses on those relating to Presidents. 1. A Booth Saves A Lincoln On April 14th, 1865, President Abraham Lincoln was shot at Ford's Theater by crazy man John Wilkes Booth. His dying words were ldquo;Shit son, I've been shot,rdquo; and are often immortalized by rappers in a similar situation. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="350" caption="ldquo;Fo shizzle.rdquo;"][/caption] However, the Lincolns and the Booths had previous interactions that didn't end in murder. Years before, Edwin Booth was boarding a train at Jersey City. At the time it was common for passengers to buy their tickets from the conductor as the train pulled into the station. The design of the boarding platform left a great deal of distance between the passenger and the train itself, creating a ldquo;death pitrdquo; of sorts. Before Edwin could purchase his ticket a man had been knocked into the gap through a combination of the train's movement and the crowding of others. By his own account he was ldquo;helpless,rdquo; until Edwin pulled him up by the collar of his shirt. The man immediately recognized Edwin, a famous actor, as his rescuer, but Edwin was not aware that the man he saved was Robert Lincoln until he received a letter of thanks months after. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="364" caption="ldquo;Whoa.rdquo;"][/caption] When his brother managed to screw the family name a few years later, Edwin comforted himself with the memory of saving Robert's life. Robert, however, wouldn't find comfort so easily. 2. Lincoln Saves No One As the only child of President Lincoln to reach adulthood, Robert held a significant place within his family. However, he holds a strange place in history because at sometime during his life he was cursed by a traveling sorcerer to play witness to two Presidential assassinations. Robert declined his parents' invitation to Ford's Theater the night his dad shook hands with a bullet. His decision against going was something he regretted for the rest of his life. After the death of his father, Robert returned to private life until James Garfield, a friend of the Lincolns, offered him the position of Secretary of War. Lincoln accepted this offer. Later he was offered to join the President at his college reunion. Running late, Robert arrived just in time to see Garfield get shot by Charles Guiteau, presumed college jock. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="411" caption="ldquo;NEERRRRRRRRRRRRD!rdquo;"][/caption] Having returned to private life again, Robert received another invitation in 1901, this time from President McKinley to attend the Pan-American Expo. Robert arrived to the Expo just in time to see Leon Czolgosz corpse the President. After the event Robert declined all invitations from Presidents, with the exception of the dedication of the Lincoln Memorial. 3. Frienemies to the Grave American history presents the founding fathers as being the best of buds. The truth is you have a bunch self-important dudes with syphilis arguing over what is best for democracy. It's unfathomable to think that all of these people got along together without incident. This incident took the form of John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, America's first set of Presidential arch-enemies. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="There can be only one, I guess."][/caption] Despite the roles the two men played in forming the new America, they were constantly at odds with one another. Everything seemed to be a matter of differing opinions, from the role government should take to the proper way to powde... Mon, 27 Dec 2010 23:43:15 EST http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/by/euphoriajoca/in/Weird-Worm/episode/4-Strange-Coincidences-in-US-History/ http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/by/euphoriajoca/in/Weird-Worm/episode/The-Best-Fictional-Bands-Ever/ Rock lsquo;n roll is awesome, and fiction is pretty badass, too. As such, it only makes sense that when the two of them combine, the badassery that results is comparable to Sylvester Stallone beating up Megatron. With his bare hands, on top of a volcano. With, like, Playboy Bunnies in the background. All exaggerated descriptions of masculine interests aside, fictional bands are a novelty for many of us, a slightly clever way of celebrating our love of pop culture and shared childhood memories. You know those hipster kids who think they are cool because they like a band that no one else has heard of? Doesnrsquo;t matter, because you are infinitely cooler for liking a band that doesnrsquo;t exist. With that in mind, letrsquo;s take a look at some of the more memorable musical groups that never were. 1. The Beets Hailing from Liverpool, The Beets are a trio of rock and rollers whose world-shaking musical creations are familiar to anyone who grew up in America during the 90s and owned a TV. Thanks to Nickelodeonrsquo;s dominance over our collective childhood, we all remember laughing at the antics of the Rugrats, pretending (unsuccessfully) not to be scared by episodes of Are You Afraid of the Dark?, and, perhaps most importantly of all, coming of age with Doug, the animated chronicles of an awkward and self-conscious kid in the suburban town of Bluffington. The Beets, a not-veiled-at-all tribute to The Beatles, were a constant presence in the show, and wersquo;ve got to credit the seriesrsquo; creators for having the foresight to hire guest songwriters who were actually capable of crafting some genuinely catchy tunes. Who didnrsquo;t watch Doug and secretly enjoy the song ldquo;Killer Tofurdquo; just a little bit? It wasnrsquo;t uncommon during the 90s to hear one of your peers softly humming the melody on the bus to school, hoping no one would notice. As an added bonus, many of us watching the had not yet been exposed to a lot of real rock music, and when our parents told us that The Beets were actually just caricatures of another Fab Four, we were introduced to some of the greatest popular music ever released. Add in the fact that Doug often referenced other fictional bands that seemed to be based on real groupsmdash;ldquo;The Psychedelic Fuzzrdquo; sounds a whole lot like The Psychedelic Fursmdash;and as it turns out, this little cartoon may have been even more hip than we give it credit for. So of course, we were all more than a little upset when The Beets broke up during Disneyrsquo;s not-so-gritty reboot of the original series. Is nothing sacred? 2. Jesse and the Rippers Full House may have permanently ruined an entire generation of young American men. Those of us raised on the never-ending drama of the Tanner family learned far too many of our significant life lessons from this series, and the results may have been disastrous. What do we think a normal family consists of? Every single relative, as well as your dadrsquo;s best friend, living together under one roof. In San Francisco. Forever. With a dog. What do we think nuanced and crowd-pleasing comedy consists of? Dave Coulier talking in a Popeye voice whenever he opens his damn mouth. And, of course, what do we think defines pure male power and masculine strength? John Stamos rocking a glorified mullet. Yeah, Uncle Jesse defined the hard-living rock and roll lifestyle, didnrsquo;t he? Living with his brother-in-law, marrying a morning talk show star (thatrsquo;s like, only a few steps down from full-fledged movie star), owning a motorcycle, hell, occasionally even riding a motorcycle. On top of that, he was a struggling musician, constantly toiling on failed projects but best known for his work as the frontman of Jesse and the Rippers. He had a studio down in the basement where he frequently brought a random gang of musicians representing what the showrsquo;s producers thought wannabe rock stars looked like (that means they were dressed l... Mon, 27 Dec 2010 00:54:29 EST http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/by/euphoriajoca/in/Weird-Worm/episode/The-Best-Fictional-Bands-Ever/ http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/by/euphoriajoca/in/Weird-Worm/episode/5-Terrible-Sleeping-Disorders-That-Anyone-Could-Have/ We believe it was Nelson Mandela who once opined ldquo;Sleep! That's where I'm a viking!rdquo; Indeed, truer words were never spoken. Sleep is the one part of our lives where no rules apply and the very definitions of reality themselves can be told to shove off. It also happens to be the time when the absolute scariest things imaginable can happen to anybody. Even you. 1. Exploding Head Syndrome What It Is: A sudden unexplained noise that occurs while you are falling into or are a few hours into sleep. It's sort of like when you walk up behind the family dog while it's napping and shout obscenities at it, only in the case of EHS the obscenities are described as explosions and seem to occur within the ear itself. Also, you should probably stop shouting at that poor dog. The sounds are just that: a sound. Sufferers report no pain from the experience. However, the ldquo;explosionsrdquo; are often recurring events, happening throughout one's lifetime and as you get older they can occur several times within the same night. What Causes It: Some physicians believe the EHS is linked with extreme fatigue and stress. If that sounds a little general to you that's because no, no one actually knows what causes the explosions inside your head. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="251" caption="They have, however, ruled out dynamite."][/caption] Common theories suggest that EHS is the result of sudden movement of the middle ear component. Some more extreme ideas suggest that it could be the result of a minor seizure or epilepsy. Sufferers often report that they think they are having a stroke. So take your pick, people. The Really Bad Part: In cases where attacks are common or severe, the sufferer may develop other sleep disorders (such as insomnia) that result from a fear of sleep or rest. And thus EHS is the gift that keeps on taking. 2. Sexsomnia What It Is: While hilariously named, sexsomnia (or sleep sex, for those of you who intend on talking about this in public) is a serious problem: a form of non-rapid eye movement that can cause people to engage in various sex acts while asleep. While this may seem like the desire of every thirteen year-old on the planet, those with sexsomnia have little to no recollection of what they did. Penthouse forum this isn't. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="316" caption="I did what to you?"][/caption] What Causes It: Sleeping disorders which involve actions committed while asleep fall under a family of disorders called parasomnias. Parsomnias are caused by abnormalities in the brain's biological process of waking up. Generally, triggers familiar to the parasomnia are what cause them in the first place. In the case of sleep sex, touching or being touched while sleeping can cause your nighttime sexcapades. Of course, that isn't always the case and sometimes sleep sex can occur without any such trigger because your brain simply likes sex more than it likes you. The Really Bad Part: Sexsomnia has also been linked to sexual assault and rape. The attacker will remember nothing of the event and could very well continue without ever knowing what they are doing if not presented with any sort of evidence. In the past ten years, sleep sex has also been used as a successful defense during rape trials, and probably some divorce proceedings. 3. African Sleeping Sickness What It Is: Not so much a sleeping disorder as it is a disease, Africa Sleeping Sickness causes the victim to stay up all night and be unable to stay awake during the day. And that's the good part. Other symptoms include swelling of the lymph nodes, severe headaches and joint pain, anemia, cardiac and kidney dysfunctions. Then if you're lucky you slip into a coma and die. You know, I doubt Africa's tourism boards appreciate the naming of various, pants-crappingly terrifying diseases after their continent. It's got to be really hard to get people to book those flights when they think coma... Thu, 18 Nov 2010 03:31:22 EST http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/by/euphoriajoca/in/Weird-Worm/episode/5-Terrible-Sleeping-Disorders-That-Anyone-Could-Have/ http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/by/euphoriajoca/in/Weird-Worm/episode/The-Ten-Movies-With-Forgotten-Sequels/ Sequels are one of the facts of life in Hollywood, just like gay actors pretending to be straight, executives ruining everything, and Michael Bay being a hugely successful director despite being a hack. If a movie is even remotely successful, they'll put out a direct sequel. Or if they can't get the original actors back, they'll put out, say, a "spiritual sequel". Either way, a movie is likely going to have a part two, even if that's absolutely pointless. Here are ten movies you won't believe they've turned into franchises. 1. "Grease" Your author would love to lie and say that he loves "Grease", but that would be a terrible, shameful, horrible lie. "Grease" creeps out of this particular comedy writer like you would not believe, because so many people actually see high school that way instead of the rancid sewer of hormones, mood swings, and vileness that it actually is. Anybody who thinks high school is the best years of their life needs to get a job. Plus, the songs are just creepy. That "Ramalamadingdong" song could be the theme to every trailer park beating ever. And even if we've ruined the original for you with that above paragraph, the sequel, which so many have gleefully forgotten, will finish the job in ways you can't imagine. Does Michelle Pfiffer sing? Why, yes. Yes, she does. There's a reason she hasn't since. 2. "Rocky Horror Picture Show" The story of the success of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" is a pretty weird one in of itself: from bomb, to obscure cult movie, to famous cult movie, to mainstream success of a movie. Only in America can a movie that slams together '70s gay culture and '50s sci-fi movies like an eight-year-old bashing action figures together find such enduring success and popularity. Also, we've got a lot of closet cases up in here, and they like to watch Tim Curry when he was a quarter of his current weight prance around in women's clothes. Anyway, after the first movie, Brad and Janet return to Denton, which is apparently A) in Texas and B) encased in a TV studio. Nobody in the cast returned, because the movie is as weird, and as bad, as it sounds. 3. "Into The Blue" We're not really sure what "Into the Blue" was supposed to be about. We think it was about skin-diving treasure hunters, but we're also fairly sure the only reason it was set in that milieu was to feature gorgeous tropical locations and to ensure that Jessica Alba and Paul Walker covered less than a quarter of their bodies in clothing at all times. The sequel, smartly, did away with the cost of huge stars and just got random hot people. Finally, a studio is thinking! 4. "Road House" Patrick Swayze's greatest movie outside of "Father Hood" was one of the most heart-warming and endearing films ever made about ripping another man's throat out and driving a monster truck through a car dealership for no reason other than it looked cool. Swayze, of course, left us recently, a fact we still mourn. Especially since he was still alive when the above turkey came out. 5. "The Land Before Time" We don't really have much to say about this because we loved the original, and we love Littlefoot. The idea of mixing Disneyesque animation and dinosaurs, two things pretty much every kid loves between the ages of four and eight, was pretty much brilliant, and that lava-plain finale is just amazing. On the other hand, Don Bluth loves eating, and it's not like he's got much in the way of work these days. As a result, there have been thirteen, yes, THIRTEEN direct-to-video "Land Before Time" sequels. Star Wars fans have nothing on the rest of us when it comes to destroyed childhoods. Mon, 08 Nov 2010 15:57:08 EST http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/by/euphoriajoca/in/Weird-Worm/episode/The-Ten-Movies-With-Forgotten-Sequels/ http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/by/euphoriajoca/in/Weird-Worm/episode/5-Pathetic-Alien-Invaders/ Unless you count the cast of Jersey Shore, alien cultures have not actually invaded Earth yet. Itrsquo;s all the creative territory of television, movies, comic books, and paranoid hippies who have smoked a pound of grass a day for twenty years. Still, in case aliens ever do invade us for real, we all better pray theyrsquo;re on the intellectual level of these five fictional invaders. If they are, then we will officially have nothing to worry about, as aliens like these couldnrsquo;t successfully invade a preschool, never mind a whole planet. 1. The Monstars (Space Jam) Do you remember the movie Space Jam? If so, just run head-first into a stone wall a few dozen times. There. Takes care of that little problem, now doesnrsquo;t it? The basic premise behind this movie is that tiny little pipsqueak aliens are threatening to steal the Looney Tunes away from us for their own amusement. For reasons that only they fully comprehend, the Tunes put their freedom on the line in a pick-up basketball game. Just like how George Washington and his soldiers dunked on the heads of the British to gain freedom for America! Thomas Jefferson had a mean jumpshot, we hear. Sadly, the aliens quickly realize that being tiny will do them no good against a whole bunch of Tunes much bigger than they, so they use their alien powers to steal the athletic ability of several NBA superstars such as Charles Barkley and Patrick Ewing. This not only transforms them into pretty good basketball players who werenrsquo;t quite good enough to win a title, but also turns them into gargantuan, overly muscled monstrous freaks: [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="Almost like this was an NBA game, really."][/caption] The Tunes, realizing theyrsquo;re screwed now, recruit Michael Jordan to play for them, and herersquo;s where the Monstars are revealed to be incompetent morons who canrsquo;t be trusted with anything. At the time of the movie, Jordan was retired, but only recently so: he was still the greatest player on Earth by leaps and bounds. Why did the Monstars not steal his ability then? Perhaps he was too busy filming another underwear commercial for the aliens to even notice him. But they couldrsquo;ve searched at least a little bit, because now hersquo;s on the other side, ready to throw down with cartoon rabbits and ducks backing him up. Unless yoursquo;re actually brain-dead, you know what happens: Jordan and the Tunes win the game after posting an amazing 40-point comeback in the second half. This simply should not have been the case. It doesnrsquo;t matter how badly the Tunes wanted it. It doesnrsquo;t matter that Michael Jordan was playing and that hersquo;s really, really good at basketball. It doesnrsquo;t even matter that Bill Murray came in as a last-minute substitute because Foghorn Leghorn got squashed one time too many. The simple fact is: THESE ALIENS WERE SUPER-STRONG GIANTS. Most of them were even taller than the basket. They could have simply lobbed the ball overhead to each other over and over again, scored 300 points, and called it a night. Yet they lost anyway because they got lazy near the end and let a bunch of drawings plus Bill Murray score on them at will. They deserved whatever punishment awaited them back at their home planet; itrsquo;s the least that can happen after disgracing oddly shaped muscled-bound freaks everywhere. 2. Zim (Invader Zim) Irkins, the alien race Zim is a member of, devote their entire lives and planet to organizing and executing endless invasions of other planets. Thatrsquo;s pretty much all they do, as intergalactic planetary invasion tends to leave very little time for side hobbies like fly-fishing or sticking small models of boats into large bottles. The Irkins are quite successful in what they do, except for Zim. Simply put, Zim is a complete idiot who has no idea how to handle anything resembling an alien invasion. He thinks absolutely nothing through in any wa... Fri, 05 Nov 2010 14:37:41 EST http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/by/euphoriajoca/in/Weird-Worm/episode/5-Pathetic-Alien-Invaders/ http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/by/euphoriajoca/in/Weird-Worm/episode/5-Prey-Animals-Deadlier-Than-Their-Predators/ When most people think of the worldrsquo;s deadliest animals their minds jump to the ones that rule their territory with an iron fist - the animals that command your attention in the jungle, on the savannah, and in the oceans. They think of the mixed marital arts fighters of the animal kingdom. Lions, Tigers, Bears. You might be saying, ldquo;Oh my,rdquo; at the mental images of these volatile creatures. However, yoursquo;d be mistaken in assuming that these are the creatures you need to worry about the most. In fact, sometimes the prey that these predators feast on, turn out to be even deadlier than their mortal adversaries. 1. King Cobra As it turns out, the worldwide terrorist organization chose a pretty good animal to model themselves after. However, the real-life cobra is prey to a creature that looks like a ferret mixed with a dog. This rodent (the mongoose) is one of the few animals agile enough to beat the cobra - but it also uses special chemicals to block the cobrarsquo;s venom, which sounds like cheating to us. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Turned to a life of crime after he failed the ldquo;Waiting for Destrotrdquo; audition"][/caption] Even though the cobra is prey to the mongoose, it is still a far deadlier animal. Around fifty thousand people are killed by venomous snakebites per year. Now wersquo;re not saying all of them are from the cobrahellip; but you know who our ldquo;ace of spadesrdquo; is. The venom from some cobrarsquo;s can cause the area around the victims bite to virtually slough-off. Wersquo;d say thatrsquo;s pretty good for an animal that gets its butt-kicked by a real life version of Chuck-e-Cheese. 2. Hippopotamus How can an animal that looks like so much fun to slap be so deadly? Moreover, how can this animalrsquo;s deadliness top that of its predator, the African crocodile? You would think that a perpetually aggravated reptile with scaly plates and a massive set of teeth would be deadlier than a mammal that is simply ldquo;hungry, hungryrdquo;. When the hippo isnrsquo;t suing Shrek's ears for copyright infringement, it likes to eat plants and become possibly the deadliest animal in Africa. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="Few people expected the ensuing bloodbath."][/caption] The hippo is actually extremely territorial, like the Sharks or the Jets; except when you enter the hipporsquo;s turf it doesnrsquo;t display its dance skills - it just gores you to death and crushes your bones. In their defense, much of this aggression is for the protection of their young, even if that means they have to flip over boats full of people and kill them all. Whatrsquo;s inexcusable is their proclivity to spray their feces by swinging their tails in a circular fashion. Wersquo;d probably want to be gored if we were covered in Hippo feces. 3. Mosquito Mosquitoes are food for birds, fish, lizards, dragonflies and other animals - yet they out-kill every animal on the planet. They donrsquo;t have sharp fangs, venom, or claws. They donrsquo;t do anything remarkable like bore a hole into your brain and affect your thought patterns (though theyrsquo;re working on it). Although prey to millions of animals, and numerous species, mosquitoes kill millions of people every year. How? [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="Finally, an animal we could take in a fight."][/caption] They harbor the disease malaria, which is largely unique to them. Malaria is frequently forgotten because of newer diseases like Cancer, Ebola, and AIDS. People in western nations can combat malaria simply with higher standards of living, but in third world nations, people in dwellings near standing water are easy prey for mosquitoes. Theyrsquo;re the worlds little vampires; only somewhat deadlier than lsquo;Twilightrsquo;. Tue, 26 Oct 2010 14:46:50 EST http://play.callisto.fm/podcasts/by/euphoriajoca/in/Weird-Worm/episode/5-Prey-Animals-Deadlier-Than-Their-Predators/